Pete Karagianis

Look, I certainly bear no ill will whatsoever to M. Night Shamylan and his… let’s see… “knack” doesn’t quite do it…. penchant? Flair? Penchant. Shamylan’s penchant for skillfully-done surprise endings.

Nothing is as difficult as the last-second lineup decisions on gameday. You’ve processed all of the information, taken a close look at the matchups, waited for the final injury reports, and set and re-set your lineup all week. Still, there’s one flex, wide receiver, or running back spot you’re simply not sure of.

Amazing, really – the amount of similarities between dealing with zombies and winning a fantasy season. Last week, we recognized the simple comparison that to survive both, one needs rules.

What do zombies, decapitated, hungry, fast, slow, or otherwise, possibly have in common with fantasy football?

Look, female-employee controversy, texted junk, and suggestive phone calls aside, I admire Brett Favre. Seriously.

Life goes in cycles. This week, if you made a drinking game out of head coach press conferences where “the first quarter of our season” was the catch phrase, you’d be calling into work Tuesday morning… or maybe Tuesday afternoon.

“I feel like Al Gore. Sometime late Thursday, good ol’ Jeb made a phone call and there was a miraculous scoring change in my long-standing league which I care most about.”

“The Papa Bears” – No, I don’t plan on gloating about the only 3-0 team in the NFC. This week featured a far more important matchup than Bears-Packers on Monday night.

Welcome, minions, to another installment of the “Friday Five”, where I’ll examine five pressing concerns, developing situations, or value questions that you, the owner should keep a close eye on this weekend.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have made a revolutionary discovery in communication between the sexes.